Plateau Bustin'!

This morning the scale said 176.8.  Woohoo! That's my lowest weight yet.  Well lowest since I started this thing in November.  I am really happy about this, but I know that other people might not be as happy for me.

I can think of mean things that people might say. " Wow...you lost 7 pounds in 3 months...you suck."  Or  "Well you still weigh a ton Fatty McFatterson, that's still obese you short round person."

 Well to that I say, "It's better than gaining 7 pounds and I learned a lot along the way which will lead to more weight loss."  I totally get that I could have been doing better, and doing more faster.  But I didn't, I don't have those three months back.  I do however have the next three months to make better, with fewer setbacks. This is my weightloss, that I'm learning how to fit into my life the best I can.  Maybe I'd do better on nutrisystem or weightwatchers.  But I don't have the money.  I could probably use a personal trainer...again...don't have the money.

I'm not using the lack of funds as an excuse.  I'm doing this the DIY Kari way.  I know I don't want to rely on prepackaged meals or a program the rest of my life.  I want to discover a healthy means of life that works for me.  I know the term "lifestyle change" has been used to death, but that's what I'm trying to do.  I'm trying to put a life together than encourages healthiness and weightloss, and still have it be a life that I enjoy and can stick to for a very long time.   I know that some people make a weightloss commitment and shoot right out of the gate, dropping pounds left and right.  I just wasn't that way.  I didn't know how much effort it was going to take...so I faltered, I sputtered, I screwed up and ate Chinese Buffet, I missed workouts.  But guess what...I didn't give up.  I crawled out of the Chinese Buffet and made a commitment to go running first thing the next morning.  Which I did!   So if you think I'm not serious...that's fine.  Just know that I haven't given up and I'm not going to despite my slow progress.  I just had to take stock of how much butt bustin' real weight loss was going to take.  I'm not afraid and I am ready. 

New Picture!

Just dropped by real quick to say that I posted a picture of myself finally on my profile. I hope you all like it! You can't tell because of the small frame but in the pic I am standing in front of the Gates of Death in The Peter and Paul Fortress in St. Petersburg.  Pretty rad huh?  I found the silhouetted head thing that they give by default to be too creepy.  I don't want my fellow bloggers to look at my comments on their posts and think that I'm all creepy.  See you later!

Demon Bras

I will preface this post by saying that I'm a pretty busty girl.  I got me some knockers.  I wear a D but I may be bordering on DDs...I never can really tell given that bra makers have seen no reason to make sure that their sizings conform to a concrete standard. 


I have recently begun running.  Running means bouncing.  Bouncing means pain.  So there was only one thing to do.  I usually put one of those stretchy sports bras, you know the type, no real support , but three for $8, over my regular bra.  Thus, my boobies are held in tight to prevent bouncing and I also have the support that underwire supplies.  Well apparently that is no longer going to work.  It seems that this set up causes my bra to rub my skin off when I actually run.  It was fine for the elliptical, fine for the stair stepper, not so fine for the treadmill. 

A Walmart visit was in order to purchase a real sports bra, with shape and form.  I tried on a bunch of sports bras...well...the "bunch" that they had for a 38 D. I suppose they assume that someone with boobs that big is too fat to exercise anyway.  I found one that I liked.  It was a blue front close number.   And the front clasp is a zipper. Crazy huh?  Well I sort of had to put all my eggs in one basket because this was the only one of the bras that was even remotely a possibility.  I probably spent a whole half hour in the dressing room, thankfully Boyfriend was on a mission to find ten pound weights.  I ended up finding him in the computer games. 

I test drove the bra today when I did a light run walk at the school's rec center.  It worked really well and I got to keep all my skin! Yay!  I do wish that they made more cheaper good bras for us chesty ladies though.
Has anyone else had boob related workout problems?

Stability Ball!!

Well I didn't get to 176...my lowest weight this week was 177.0  So close! I was one decimal point away.  Despite my perceived failure I made some major strides this week.  I managed to lose weight this week.  I won some major battles with bowls of cereal, chips in restaurants, even happy bagels and happy cheese (my term for bagel thins and laughing cow lite cheeses).  It wasn't super easy, but I'm starting to learn how to win these battles with food before they even start.  It all happens within the space of one second.  For example, I was at the residence hall cafeteria and I finished my lunch.  I started thinking about the cereal wall.  I was doing my habitual reading of the New York Times and I thought to myself, "Well maybe I'll get something to munch on until I finish the editorial page.  I don't want to be sitting here in the cafeteria, taking up space not eating..." But I stopped myself. I realized how ridiculous it was to think that I had to eat in order to reading a newspaper.  Paul Krugman's latest take on the economic crisis does not require frosted flakes to understand.  I sped through the rest of the page and fled the cafeteria.  Though there was that moment of panic "I HAVE TO GET AWAY FROM ALL THIS DAMN FOOD"  Once I got outside into the air, I was so proud of myself.  I knew that I had made the right choice. I knew that I didn't like I had missed out for not having a bowl of cereal.

In Exercise news.  I did some running this week.  I ran a mile and then ran walked a second mile on Monday.  Then on Thursday I did a couple sprints on my three mile walk to and from Hy Vee.  On Tuesday and Friday I did my Biggest Loser circuit routine with Coach Boyfriend.   My muscles are getting more defined everyday and I love it!  On Saturday Boyfriend and I went to Walmart to pick up some ten pound weights because the five pounders are no longer cutting it.  Well, while there I impulse bought a stability ball because it was so cheap.  It's all emerald green and sooo pretty.  I did the workout included in the box that the ball came in.  It was interesting, I kept almost falling off, but this should really do wonders for my sense of balance.  I love it so far.  I'll let you know how it goes!

How I'm Doing

I'm doing pretty good.  Overall it's a been a decent week.  I didn't reach all of my goals though.  I didn't manage to get the food journaling in.  I know I know...its so important for weight loss It just wasn't in the cards for me last week.  However, I made it to the gym twice.  It wasn't the three times I was hoping for.  But there was something special about my time at the gym.  When I was there I ran. I ran!  On the treadmill boxed in by hard bodied attractive co-eds that belong on an mtv show.  My short little chubby legs ran.  They ran for a whole mile, not stopping to walk.  I always feel so powerful after I run, I feel like I'm doing something that I wasn't meant to and succeeding at it.  It's a great feeling.

Even though I've been bouncing in-between 177 and 180 pretty much since the start of the new year I know that my body is changing.  I was shaving my legs the other day in the shower and I couldn't help but notice how much harder my legs are than they used to be.  There are bumps of hard muscle poking out where there used to be just softness.  Its the same with my arms, there is a bump of bicep showing through.  I feel like my tummy is just a tiny bit flatter and my face is a little thinner. I think I have wonderful Boyfriend to thank for being my strength training coach and pushing me when I least want to be pushed.  I love these Non Scale Victories as they are called in the Weight Loss Blogging World.

Now I know that I still need to get a handle on my eating.  There was definitely some restaurant action this weekend that didn't really need to happen.  I realize that I'm working out enough to burn enough fat to cancel out the muscle gain and even it out at a steady weight.  And that's great.  There is nothing wrong with replacing fat with muscle, but the fact remains that I'm still too heavy for my height and I should be losing regardless of strength training.  My main goal this week is to buckle and bust through my plateau of 177 this week.  I want to see 176 so bad I can taste it.  I think I can do it. Rather than wishing me luck I would like whoever is out to wish me the strength to kick some butt!

Frustration

I'm getting really irritated that I've only made a five pound dent in the 50lbs I need to lose since November.  I haven't eaten french fries in three months.  I've been hitting the gym and strength training like never before, eating a lot better than I used to.  I'm making an effort.  Sure, I've slipped up a few times.  There are temptations in college life that are really hard to overcome, chinese here, mexican there...but seriously I'm doing so much better than I used to, honestly so much better, and all I have to show for it is five measly pounds.  It's unreal.  If I hadn't put in all this work would weigh 200lbs by now?  Was the way I was living before that out of whack that such a change only gets me five pounds in loss?  It's scary to think that this is the amount of effort I have to put in just to not gain more. 

I hate this, that in order to not get bigger I have to exercise almost every day, and only eat what I want 1/3 of the time.  I guess I just have to get used to the idea that this is going to require a lot more work and diligence than I originally thought.  I know I could put forth more effort, I guess I though that 60% effort was enough.  I was wrong...this is going to take 100% effort, real dedication.  If I stop if I backslide into my old ways I will gain a ton of weight I know that.  When I don't pay attention I gain...that's just how it is.  My history doesn't lie.  When I came home from Moscow in Dec 2009 I weighed 167lbs.  Over the course of the next semester I gained 13lbs to 180lbs.  In the summer of 2010 I managed to lose 4lbs and I started the fall semester at 176.  Then I made the GOOD decision to quit smoking...I gained 8lbs.  Finally this past November I decided that enough was enough.  Well now I'm down to 179.  And somewhere in there I reached a low of 177.2.  I want to see that number again and still lower.  I can't really give up now can I?

From Underneath a Pile of Dictionaries

I've decided to crawl out from under my pile of dictionaries to update.  Life has been pretty crazy lately. I have a pretty work intensive translation to do, hence the dictionaries, managing Russian Club which is always hectic, and dealing with the bitter bitter awful Midwestern cold.  All that having been said, my dieting and exercise efforts have been successful!  I've stayed under 1500 cals for today and did my circuit workout.  Despite the urge to eat and hibernate, which always hits me when it's bitter cold out, I have stayed strong.  Woohoo! Hopefully the scale will be as happy for me as I am tomorrow morning.

One not so great area is my cardio.  I haven't started yet this week.  Yesterday Boyfriend was sick and I had to attend a Russian Club meeting, today it was really cold and I knowing that I had strength training coming up, I made the excuse not to do it.  Well cardio starts tomorrow dang it!  Wednesday is my short day, and I'll have to be on campus anyway to access the big bad Russian-Russian Dictionaries so I'll have no excuse to not drop by the rec center.

Making excuses is probably first and foremost among my eating and exercise problems.  I am the Tsaritsa of making excuses.   "I'm tired" "I worked out most days this week, so it's okay if I take the day off and go get Mexican food"  "It's my TOM,  I'm crampy...I deserve to order in Chinese".  Excuses Excuses Excuses.  I don't want to look back on life 20 years from now and realize that I excused myself into 300lbs and Supersized early grave.  I have NO EXCUSE to not take good care of myself and that is that.

Weekly Goals

Yesterday, my first day back on track, went well. I completed two circuits of a strength training routine from the Biggest Loser Book my mother gave me.  It was very exhausting but I feel accomplished.  I'm down 0.6 lbs from yesterday and that's pretty encouraging.  I feel good about my food as well.  The Superbowl snacks were all healthy - carrots with hummus and celery with some peanut butter.  It was however difficult to eat my carrots when Boyfriend was sitting next to me eating tortilla chips and queso, but I powered through and I feel good abeit a little sore from the exercise.

Breakfast was a chicken salad with fat free rasp. vinaigrette (I don't like breakfast food all that much) 

Lunch today went fine until the wall o' cereal that is a staple in most university cafeterias caught my eye.  I ended having a small bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch...I'm not proud of it, but there it is.  It's not as bad as I have done and could have done, but it's not awesome either.  

Dinner will be whatever healthy thing I can find at the dining hall.  Hopefully it's not deep-fried mac and cheese night.  I kid.

My goals this week include:

1. No Mexican Restaurant/Chinese buffet craziness where I eat until I feel like I'm going to burst and then feel like crap afterward.

2.  Cardio three times this week.  Unfortunately, one of those times won't be tonight. Boyfriend is sick and I have to keep an eye on him.  I have no doubt that he would conceal details of his illness from me for fear of me taking him to the doctor.  Men like to pretend to be so tough, but I'm convinced that they are simply terrified of modern medicine.

3. Strength training every other day

4. No seconds at the cafeteria.  Okay I already kinda screwed this up with the cereal, but that's no reason to just give up on trying to do this.

5.  Get my weight spreadsheet up and running again

6. Journal my food everyday

It's not going to be the easiest thing in the world, but if it were super easy, no one would bother to write about it. 

Backsliding

I've become complacent lately.  My cardio workout has become very irregular, I'm not right with my foods.  I've had Chinese, Mexican, almost all my favorite danger foods.  The only thing that has stayed consistent is my strength training routine from out of my Biggest Loser book.  I know exactly why this is happening.  In order to cope with some very stressful things in my life, I've thrown my weight-loss goals under the bus.

What was so stressful?  In a word? Fulbright. I am Russian Language student.  To put it sappily and poetically, the study of Russia is my all-consuming passion.  I applied for the Russian Fulbright program which would allow me to live and teach English in Russia for a whole year.  I started this application process a year ago.  I has been very rigorous.  I don't know how many times I was told by my professors and advisers that my application had to be PERFECT. I was competing against the best and the brightest.  There are only twenty spots available in the whole country and if there are any speed bumps or in your application they will throw you OUT.   All that hard work and stressing out last fall paid off.  Two weeks ago I was named a Fulbright finalist! Hooray!

The next step in the process was a telephone interview.  In Russian.  With a real Russian lady from Moscow.  In preparation for this interview I threw all of my energy into preparing for it.  In addition to that, I used that stress as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted to "keep my stress down".  In a word, I was self-medicating with food, something I used to do all the time, something that has led to my weight gain.   Now that my interview is over (and I think I did really well!!) I'm having trouble getting back on the wagon with my eating and I'm feeling the consequences.  I'm up 3 pounds in the last two weeks.  I've been doing strength training throughout though, so I'm hoping that some of that three pounds is muscle.   One thing I know I can't do is use my strength training as an excuse to eat irresponsibly because I'm "burning calories" and "upping my metabolism".  Even if those things are true and I can't be in the letting things slide mindset.  Today will be spent climbing back on the wagon.  Gotta get back to bid'ness.